If all else fails, break out in a rapid dance while humming a John Sousa tune.
If all else fails, try not to look too guilty — really, you didn’t do it.
If all else fails, be prepared to recite the complete Declaration of Independence in a French accent. For goodness’ sake, who will argue with that?
If all else fails, go to Costco with a brother called Jeff to shop for glasses and eat food samples doled out by hardy seniors, proceed to Home Depot to buy storage containers absent from Costco, sniff lumber, admire paint chips, and pet carpet samples, then get a hair cut, converse about the Korean War, Ernie Pyle, death, imagination, childhood, girls/boys, hard cider, et al, and then help bake cookies, help make soap, help make dinner, help bake bread.
